The Curious Case of Missing La Bella !
To me, one of the enigmas of air-travel has always remained the curious case of missing la bella...are you baffled?...lemme explain...there have been quite a few recent instances of people from my firm having had the good fortune of travelling with some of the beauty queens...however as one of the (un)lucky ones put it..."yaar, Murphy forgot to write this law that when a beauty enters the aircraft and looks as if she is heading straight for the seat next to yours...dont raise your hopes too high for she will always sit anywhere but there..."
My kingfisher platinum and jet gold cards (flash flash!) would testify to the fact that I have been a frequent traveller and yet the statistical impossibility (on an average i do a 2 round trips a week and have been an active traveller for last 3 years which means more than 1,000 adjacent travellers) of not having even once the pleasure of a PYT on the adjacent seat just hits me in the face...its not as if PYTs refuse to travel...there are always a few around on the airport as well as the aircraft that I am on...but by some design of His, the airlines have never deemed it appropriate to make me sit next to a good looking female in all my travel history...its not even that the airlines have blacklisted me from sitting next to good looking women because I have tried to be funny with a fellow traveller or something (not that I have had a chance anyway..Chastity is a Virtue Forced Upon the Ungainly or so someone has said)
Think Vijay Mallya was well aware of this curious case as for consoling the disgruntled souls he instituted the perfectly lovely kingfisher policy of a PYT escorting one to the aircraft (that is if the one is a gold card or above and is traveling kingfisher first...this class discrimination never goes away..does it?)...
So the next time you are traveling by air and have a good fellow traveller please spare a thought for all those unprivileged who have never had the Opportunity!
Some Funny Plane Announcements
- “There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane…”
- “We do feature a smoking section on this flight; if you must smoke, contact a member of the flight crew and we will escort you to the wing of the airplane."
- Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they’ll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines.”
- “As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.”
- And from the pilot during his welcome message: “We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry…Unfortunately none of them are on this flight!"
- Another flight Attendant’s comment on a less than perfect landing:
“We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.”
- Part of a Flight Attendant’s arrival announcement: “We’d like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you’ll think of us here at US Airways.”